Lent is a season of self-examination. I use this liturgical period of the year to reflect on my life, the current values I hold and figure out the steps I need to take to become born again and to become closer to Jesus and his way of life. I'm a sinner. I probably do more sinful things than I realize because of how commonplace it is in society. I'm a moral and ethical person at heart, but vice always seems to triumph over virtue in my life. This year, I'm particulraly focusing on the deadly vice of pride.
I'm not one to brag about my life directly. I don't boast my accomplishments or hold myself on a high pedestal. I do however, indirectly pride myself on the attention I receive from people, something I want to get rid of in my life. To be frank, social media is an outlet where I have the ability to indirectly talk about the cool things that I'm doing, post pictures of places no one else has the opportunity to go, and create a digital life that manifests into something that people might percieve luxurious or unique. I hate it. I hate how I enjoy receiving likes on social media, making other people slightly jealous without it being obvious, and getting jealous when I see other people relishing in a fruitful life that makes me scrutinize my own. For these reasons, I'm giving up social media. Not only because editing photos and coming up with clever captions distracts me from enjoying the present moment. Not only because I'm probably going to do better in school without having to check social media. I'm giving up social media to finally escape the withdrawals I have when I'm away from being occupied in someone else's life other than my own. I'm giving up social media to learn how to love my life without having to make other people feel bad about theirs. According to the First Law of Thermodynamics, energy is neither created or destroyed but is merely transformed. This principle that has now been engraved into my mind courtesy of my environmental energy class, is a principle I can apply to my own lenten transformation. I don't want to destroy any part of me and create a whole new person, I merely hope to manifest my potential energy; I want to catalyze my potential to become a better person. Energy undergoes conversion. Conversion means transforming an old way of living and acting in order to embrace new life in Christ. By the end of the lenten season, I know I will return to using social media. However, I hope I no longer have to rely on it. I want to express myself and inherently know that i am doing it as a form of art rather than self-seeking motives. In the meantime, I will be using my free time updating this blog and make writing part of my daily (probably weekly) routine.
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August 2019
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